Mrs Brown's Boys' Eilish O'Carroll felt selfish for splitting from her ex-husband and coming out as gay - Mrs Brown's Boys

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Friday, May 28, 2021

Mrs Brown's Boys' Eilish O'Carroll felt selfish for splitting from her ex-husband and coming out as gay

 Eilish, who now lives in Cork with her partner Marion, came out in her 40s and admits it took her the best part of ten years to come to terms with her sexuality







Mrs Brown's Boys star Eilish O'Carroll says she felt 'selfish' after splitting from her ex-husband.

The actress, famed for her role as Winnie McGoogan on the hit BBC and RTE comedy, realised she was gay while married to her second husband in her 40s.

Eilish is now loved up with partner Marion, but admits it was a "long journey" to truly accept herself.

"It's not a decision you take lightly," she said of coming out.

"You don't walk hand in hand into the sunset with the person that you have fallen in love with because what you're carrying is guilt, shame, the pain you have caused the very people you love.. your children, your husband, your family.

"It's like, 'How can I be so selfish? Is it really that important?'


"Oh God, [I felt selfish] because I was the other side of 40. This was my second marriage and it was a good marriage, he was a good man.

"We were planning our future to return to Ireland and retire in Ireland when the boys were finished in university. It was all planned.

"And life threw me a curveball that I was not expecting and my whole world turned upside down."

Eilish added during her Ireland AM interview that she struggled to accept her sexuality and the idea of internalised homophobia.


Eilish O'Carroll and Marian O'Sullivan photographed at the Alex Hotel, Dublin for RSVP Magazine in March 2019. Photo: Ramona Farrelly


She continued: "I discovered that I was internalising my homophobia. I'm trying to describe that to you. In what way?

"I realised that when I was beginning to tentatively make my journey coming out to myself, I would look at other women, other lesbians.

"And I had this preconceived notion that they would look a certain way so they'd have short hair and they'd have to have tattoos.

"I was looking at these women going, 'I am not them so I can't be gay. I don't want to look like them'.

"So that's what I mean about internalised homophobia.

"Even though I'm trying to accept myself, I'm judging others by the way they look and the life that they're leading.

"I was one of those people, I didn't fit the stereotypical image or perception that I had of gay women which was totally way off beam by the way."

Eilish says it took 10 years to accept herself before realising, "it was better to live a truthful life than to live a lie and if people could forgive me - then that's how I felt that they needed to forgive me. And in truth I didn't need to be forgiven for being gay."

Eilish and her partner Marion are very happy together and counts her blessings that she is still very close to her ex-husband.


"We got there you know. Because at the bottom of it all being gay doesn't negate the people you love," she said.

"And they can't stop loving you because you're gay.

"It wasn't without its pain and I'm not going to pretend it was, it wasn't, but we really have now come out the other end.

"And we're all very happy, very honest, very open, very truthful. What more can you ask from life?"





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