MRS Brown’s Boys’ star Danny O’Carroll felt like 'a burden' to his family and ‘shouldn’t be here’ before seeking mental health help.
The actor is known for playing the part of Buster Brady in the hit Irish comedy, which is scripted by his dad Brendan.
Danny O'Carroll, centre, as Buster Brown in Mrs Brown's Boys
But behind the laughs, he actually found that he was struggling and kept it all inside.
Danny said: “I struggled back in 2018, 2019 a little bit with mental health so it sort of set me up for lockdown, for this.
"I went through a stage where I was very very negative, everything I was thinking was very, very negative and I ended up getting help for that and I got the tools, was given the tools to use in a good way to turn my thinking, my mind frame into a positive and I use it all the time, it’s amazing.
"So 2019, 2020, 2021 have been brilliant for me from where I was in my head.”
The 37-year-old said it started off with some negative thinking and manifested into something much worse.
Amanda Woods and husband Danny O'Carroll
It got to the stage where I feel I'm messing up everybody else's life
He began to feel like his loved ones would be better off if he was no longer with them.
He explained: “I was one of them people who wouldn’t say anything and kept everything to myself. It started off very very negative, real bad negative mindset.
"It started off that I wasn’t good enough to be doing my acting, I was just really bad, I’m not good enough to be where I am. And then it moved onto ‘I’m a really bad father, I’m a bad husband, I'm not good enough to be with this family. I shouldn’t be here with this family, they should go and live somewhere else with someone else.’
"And then it got to the stage, ‘I’m just annoying everybody. I feel like I’m messing up everybody else’s life and I’m a burden on everybody and I feel this is bad, I feel in a bad bad place.’
"Finally if it wasn’t for (wife) Amanda, I’d be bad. She noticed it thank God and dragged it out of me and I went and got help. Talked to people and I feel great.”
And after reaching out for help, Danny was taught how to turn his negative thoughts into a positive.
He added: “Some days you just want to have a bad day, you just want to sit, you don’t want to do anything...you’re allowed that. I’m not afraid of that.
BETTER PERSON
"Where I was afraid of it two years ago...I hope I’m a better person to be around for my wife, I know I wasn't great back then, I hope I’m a better person to be around for my kids - I am, I bloody am a good person to be around now.”
One of the main things he struggled with was changing his personality to appeal to each person he met.
But Danny said social media also had a big part to play.
Speaking on Lisa McHugh’s podcast, he said: “I was getting up in the morning, looking at followers on Twitter and wondering why I lost 10 followers, what did I do? I’ve got 80,000 followers and I’m worried about 10 followers that left… So I try not to go on social media as much now.”
He also said lockdown has been great for him in comparison to where he was just three years ago.
He revealed: “I put on a stone and a half and I’ve loved every minute of it. And I’m still loving it. I’m trying to turn it into a positive that I’m looking forward to getting it off but not just yet.
"I’m enjoying Netflix, I’m enjoying my crisps and Maltesers at nighttime and I’m not coming out of that bubble for a minute. I’ll come out when I’m ready.”
Danny in character as BusterMy dad is dyslexic and he's written five bestselling books!
Danny, who is now a huge star thanks to the show, is grateful to have his dad as his boss.
The comedian, who hired a large number of his family members for his show, allows Danny to see the scripts first to give him time to get used to them, as he suffers from dyslexia.
Danny said: “I’m glad I didn’t know about it when I was at school. But it made sense after I found out, when I got all the tests done. It made sense that I was dyslexic.
"Even today, my writing, my spelling is absolutely atrocious. It’s one of the things that gets me if people come up for an autograph, ‘can you make it out to Jacinta?’ I’m like, ‘Oh Jesus Christ,’ big scribble and panic.
"So I try and get to them before they even ask can you make it out to someone, have my name written and give it back to them straightaway. It stops the panic mode.”
And he said he quickly learned that it didn’t have to put an end to his dreams, explaining: “I just found out my son’s dyslexic and he’s adorable, he thinks there’s something wrong with him now, my dad’s dyslexic as well, and I tried to explain to him that your grandaddy has written five bestselling books, there’s nothing you can’t do.”
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